Brooke turned 1 year old on the 11 feburary 2010.  What a milestone. Everyone had told us that the first year would be the toughest of her life and I sure hoped that was going to be the case. If she could get through that, she can get through anything.

She has started eating some solid foods, 3 tiny bites is a huge deal in our house.  She chokes often because she still has an open cleft so grabbing the baby, tilting her upside down and performing back blows is a normal occurance at the dinner table At around 16 months she started taking her bottles during the day and only needed the tube at night time making life so much easier.

In may she became unwell and was admitted breifly 3 times,  then as winter grew colder and the bugs started swarming she became very unwell with Adenovirus and needed admitted and put on oxygen. That was the beggining of august, then late August she got R.S.V, and was re admitted,  then mid September she got very sick once again and her H1N1 swab came back positive. I had been worried about H1N1 when she was tiny, I was terrified it would take her from us. She was a very sick little girl and needed to be put into the High Dependancy Unit for 4 days and for 2 of those days I was unsure we would be bringing her home with us this time. But my little Brooke is a fighter and she got though!

This little girl is just amazing. She now has a killer grin and the funniest little quirks. Shes happy and bubbly, everyone that gives her a chance loves her. She began bum shuffleing at 17 months and is so pleased that she can do things for herself and get into whatever she likes. I was overjoyed when she started, I was really worried that her lack of interest in moving was going to mean something for her intelect but now shes off and you can see the spark in her. She is no ones fool.

As far as she is going with her medical bits and pieces:
She had an M.R.I at 18 months that showed brain damage and explains the weak left side.
She still has no diagnosis, we saw the genetics people at 16 months and they have decided to let her grow and re visit the causes of her multiple problems in 2 years time.
She was due to have her cleft fixed in August but that has been put off till latewr in the year, possibly December, January or February.
It will be great to have it fixed, but I am not looking foward to the actual surgery. Poor wee brooke will go into hospital happy and healthy and be made sore and miserable again. I hate that.
She will have grommets inserted at the time of the cleft surgery and the dr is hopeful that her hearing may improve.

At 18 months brooke is in 3-6 month clothing, bumshuffeling around the house, walking with the help of a walker, slapping her brother and sister in the face and laughing, wearing her hearing aids almost all day, sleeping as poorly as ever, kissing and showing huge amounts of affection, showing interest in everything going on around her and using her voice to make more sounds and has discovered that the jolly jumper is awesome fun. 

As I finish writing up to 18 months, she is 5 days away from being 20 months old. I started this blog quite late in the peice but from now on I can write things up to date as they happen.

Brooke continues to grow slowly In every aspect. Developmentally she is way behind and at 6 months she weighed just 10lbs, at her first Christmas when she was 10 months the turkey was bigger than her. She grew out of her newborn clothes at 10 months. 
Her feeding is still one of her main issues. She made a massive leap foward when she was 9 months old and began to take some of her daily intake orally! She was able to manage 20 ml from each bottle orally and the tube would take care of the rest. Her reflux became much much less and her feed rate was able to be sped up. No more grueling 90 minute tube feedings. She was able to suck her bottle for 30 mins and whatever was left was fed via her tube in around 15 mins. I was free to go out for more than an hour at a time and It was great.

But freedom to go out more into society came with its own issues. It was these months between 6 and 12 months that I became aware of society and how they can be so afraid of difference.
Because her nasal tube was out the public stopped automaticaly avoiding so the people felt free to come and meet her, and most often they wished they hadn't. They would come and say hi to the little baby and ask me her age, I would tell them and they would recoil as they noticed her facial differences and realised that the little baby wasnt perfect and off they would run.
I had one woman stop and talk to me while brooke slept in her carseat capsule, commenting on my wee baby, cooing and then asked her age, I said 12 months cheerfully.  Off she went, calling out over her shoulder  "I hope she is okay!"  as she ran from the uncomfortable situation of speaking with an abnormal baby.
There continues to be many situations similar to that, people who are very friendly and forthcoming, eager to meet this little bundle of joy and quickly realising this baby is different, suddenly became in a hurry to get anywhere but near her.
 I became blunt and I guess sometimes a little rude as the months wore on and I became more protective of my girl. 
People notice her hearing aids and often ask if she was deaf from birth? I got sick of it one day and told a poor woman that no, she has the kind of deafness that comes with age. 
Meanwhile aside from what I was dealing with day to day, Brooke was in and out of hospital with reccurent viruses and it is now a way of life for us. 
At 12 months she was, and continues to be, a mix of developmental stages. She doesn't coo or babble. She laughs a strange silent laugh, only a little and only when tickled.  She doesnt post objects and appears to have no interest in moving from the spot she sits in.   Brooke began sitting at 9 months and by 11 months she no longer needed a cushion, she is not yet rolling or crawling and attends physiotherapy regularly. She is stiff thru all her limbs and her trunk and her left side is weaker than her right. She makes no attempt to reach objects that are not within immediate grasp which has worried me because it seems she has no desire to challenge herself, I work with her daily and she will get mobile, Im determined to see that she does.